Overdue

It has been too long since I have written anything. The waves of life have pushed and tossed me all around and sometimes I feel as if I have turned up on an unknown island. I have stepped into a new realm where the old me no longer exist but there is something new desiring to manifest. It is scary at times to see your life unfold following a blueprint you did not create. Ultimately I believe everything happens for a reason and all that occurs is a part of the process that must be undertaken so an individual can continue to be molded and refined. Writing is one of the gifts I have that allows me to release, imagine and discover. I stopped writing because I suppose I would have rather kept myself in the pain of my circumstances than giving myself a way out. It is silly what a human can do when life has took them for a loop. Im glad to be writing again and you also should do whatever it is that God has given you to release, imagine and discover. Never stop practicing your God given talents. You never know who is watching and who will need you to continue on as an example. If we were perfect we wouldnt need Jesus...

A Micro Preemie's Journey Into the World

A Birth Story...

The seed within me had taken root and began to sprout. At around 6 months of being pregnant I began having a terrible migraine for 3 days in a row. Knowing that something was not right I went into the doctors office a week before my scheduled appointment. We had discovered my blood pressure was higher than normal, but my migraine had gone away and my doctor prescribed my medicine. The following weak I felt much better, yet still exhausted from being pregnant. I was also sick during my whole pregnancy which consisted of nausea and daily vomiting, with little eating. I arrived for my routine and scheduled doctor appointment a week later and we discovered that my blood pressure was extreme higher than normal and after 3-4 readings of my blood pressure, my doctor told me to admit myself to hospital immediately. I was concerned but did not really have an idea of all that was about to unfold in the next 48 hours. I went to the hospital and waited in the waiting room almost two hours to be seen. Once I was seen I received more blood pressure checks and my levels continued to escalate. The attending physician immediately decided that what I was experiencing could be deadly and was called severe toxemia or pre-eclampsia. This occurs in women who are pregnant and their blood pressures spike dramatically, Pregnant women usually get this closer to their due dates, yet for me only being 24 weeks (6 months) it was very odd. I was terrified once the doctor told me that I would have to deliver the baby. I attempted to hold in my terror and tears until I called my Spiritual-Mother and the ocean of tears, sadness, disappointment, terror flooded what felt like every inch of my body and I could hardly talk. The attending physician decided that I would be transported to UCI Medical Center since it is #1 in dealing with high risk births and premature infants. This was a HUGE blessing and the best hospital for me to deliver my love seed at. My husband, spiritual mother and bug sister from church rushed down to see me. I remember seeing there faces and feeling a blanket of comfort and peace wrap me up, The ambulence from UCI Medical Center made it to me and we prayed before I headed off to my next destination. The medicine they gave me left me feeling extremely nauseous, hot and had me vomiting quite a bit. The two nurses that assisted me on the ambulance ride were like two angels, They made me feel safe and comfortable and were very sweet. We made it to the hospital and my husband tailed the ambulance the entire way there. We were taken to the maternity area and my nurses informed me on the medications I was given to try and reduce my blood pressure. My blood pressure was checked every hour and I couldnt eat anything because the medicine caused me to be nauseous and hot so food wouldnt go down well. I did get to eat ice though. My husband (fiance at the time) is my super hero! He was with me the whole time I was there and didnt leave my sight except to eat and use the restroom, lol. This was a time of trouble and terror and he remained calm which kept me calm and hopeful through it all. It was like the time Jesus and his boys were in the boat and the storm came. Jesus is sleeping and the rest of them are going crazy and Jesus wakes up like why ya;ll trippin' Lol! My husband exemplified the characteristics of Jesus and I know that God was proud of him as my husband supported me through with the help of Jesus, in the midst of the unknown. Thought in my  mind were tripping over one another as I thought of delivering a baby at 6 months...would she survive? Would I survive surgery? What was God trying to tell me? There were so many questions and thoughts and this experience was so unknown I had no blueprint for what to expect.The next day we were told that I would be on bedrest until I deliver, This was upsetting news being that I was in the middle of Fall Quarter and I did not want to drop any of my classes! I know, who worries about school at a time like this? I do! Lol! Yet if I had to be on bedrest then so be it! I would email my Professors and work something out. So it was comforting knowing that I would be on bedrest in the hospital but not so comforting living in a hospital the next 3 months, but I was willing to do whatever it would take for my Love Seed. So the end of day 2 went okay but my blood pressure was still the same. The doctors decided the next morning to do an ultrasound and look at the baby and check her growth and how she is doing. They discovered that there was blockage in the umbilical cord and that she had not been receiving all her nutrients so she was on the smaller side for a six month old baby and that it would be best to deliver her sooner than later. They went over with us all the developmental risks that could arise and it all become overwhelming and tears began to flow. The doctors were very tactful and encouraged me to cry if needed. Sunday came and we still were in the waiting game. Doctors hadnt finalized anything so we figured that I would continue to remain on bedrest. Then we get word late afternoon that a cesarean section would be performed in the next hour on me. What?! Oh my God! Okay! Everything will be okay, right? Im scared but whatever happens God you'll take care of my husband and the baby, right? These are thoughts that I am thinking but we continue to remain hopeful as our trust is in the Lord. I knew my church  (Immanuel Praise Fellowship) was praying for me!! I trusted and believed and God allowed a prayer warrior angel to call me before the c-section and she said, "Say to yourself, "I will live and my baby will live!" And that is what I did. At 15:22 on October 11, 2015, a love seed was born at 1 pound and 3 ounces and came out of me with a Spontaneous cry!!

 Wow! God is good! This little half-baked bundle of love came out praising God! So our Love Seed was here and immediately rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Where she was cared for by the BEST Doctors, Nurses, Respiratory Therapist, Physical/Occupational Therapist, Social Worker and Staff!! The NICU journey is for another blog, but our little girl made it and came roaring into this world!! Her name is Makeda Brielle, pronounced Mah-Kay-Dah. Her name is inspired by the African Queen of Sheba and means Greatness! In Hebrew her name means high tower, Brielle means "God is your strength." Our Love Seed is destined and purposed for Greatness. God is intentional and She is intentional.

Unfinished Business | Initiate |

This journey has been different. My experiences in how I have struggled and persevered has been pretty great. I am in this moment where everything is new and unfamiliar. It is an uncomfortable stage and position to be in and yet I know that even in the midst of this I will overcome. It seems like I was born to overcome and not because of me or on my own account but possibly for a greater purpose then just me. All my life I have always tried to be right and to be better. I have tried to live a life to prove that I am not just small, that I am not just a black girl, that I am more. Childhood in its intricacies and complexities has configured me with an interconnected woven like material of self doubt, strength, heartache, endurance, love, as well as so many other fine components. Childhood is why I long to be better than my past and prove to myself and my family, the world, others that I as a Black woman can do great things, persevere and redefine myself. Though this sounds great, reality as I perceive it, dictates how I actually begin to realize my life. My notion of my past, how I perceive it gets in the way of my "now," my present and how details of my life are realized. It seems simple to just let go of your past and the parts that cause you pain, but maybe instead of letting go, one must face it, head on. When you distant yourself from your pains, traumas, tragedies....they seem small and easy to accept and understand, but distance blurs perception. When you face your pains, traumas and tragedies you see/visualize and perceive them with every painful, gratifying, transformational emotion that you can and in the mist of those most beautiful yet terrifying feelings, emotions and memories you become the Giant over your unfinished business. Unfinished business is something a person needs to work on or deal with: something that has not been done, dealt with or completed. In order to have a holistic life I think we have to experience love, pain, joy, tragedy, success, failure, etc. If we do not know sadness, how then will we know what happiness is, feels like and embodies. It is easy to write about but not so easy to initiate. Yet, I believe writing is a form of initiation. My writing is a catalyst in my transformation and how I will continue to perceive reality. It is time to open the box of unfinished business and initiate my process to healing and a holistic life. Only you can be the initiator in the process of your own healing.

Your Silence Will Not Protect You, It Will Not Save You.

Majority of my life I have exercised silence. Ever since I can remember I have been more of an observer than a talker. I have learned to be silent and have been told to be silent. Silence has come over me in voluntary ways and some in, involuntary ways. Writing has been my silent language and for so long I have exercised and practiced it well. My silence and writing have been good to me and helped me through unpleasant experiences. Silence has allowed me to observe and interpret and more often than not overthink whats been poured in. Silence can reap benefits, but at the same instance silence can kill. There will come a season where one will become so full with experience that the silence within will need to be heard and the uncomfortabilities of the soul will need to be stirred. I am not saying that people should talk to just be talking. Your story will be meaningless if  it does not meet the ears of a person who is in the motion of seeking a story with the abilities to free & enlighten. Audre Lorde said, "Your silence will not protect you, it will not save you," so imagine if you could open the doors to heaven with your words. Silence is a beautiful gift...but there will come a time when the wisdom, experience, hardships, success, joys you have acquired will need to help someone else live inspired. My Silence...spoken in Love is to come soon.

Written in Love,
J.N Clark

Prolgue to Love

Life in its very essence has been a road of ashes transformed into a road of beauty & transformation.  I've learned how to love & accept love on a level I've never experienced before.  I've seen how past experiences prepared me for what I encountered in 2015. I witnessed God's power & strength in situations I've never imagined being in. All in all God has shown me the constancy in His love. I've realized the power in the gifts He has given me. I see the threat to evil when my gifts are operated. I've seen new life birthed and seen death take its course. Ive got to bear witness to the fruit of seeds I've planted and prayers that I've prayed. Im still on the road and as the ashes fall away, God's beauty beams through. My story as it is written will be written in LOVE. More to come...

In Love,
J.N Clark

Writing My Story in Love

New Blogs Coming Soon January 2016....
    Life has not been so perfect, but despite the obstacles and shortcomings on my part God is still constant. His constant Love has produced a perfection within my soul that can only be activated when I live according to His will. I will write on my Canvas how God transformed my ashes into beauty. No the story is not perfect based on how the world defines perfection, but it is perfection because God painted my story and is still producing beautiful masterpieces of the chapters to come in my life.
See you in 2016!

12.5.14

I discovered that a year ago today I wrote a letter to myself in my poetry journal. How awesome is this! I truly forgot the date in which I began writing in my poetry book. Today I was looking it over and I gained so much inspiration from it and as I was finishing up, so I decided to read the first page. This is where I wrote the note to myself. God led me here. Wow! I am so not worthy but I thank God that even though I don't find myself worthy, God still does! My letter says:

12-5-13

Dear Jasmine Nicole,

Always be true to who you are. Write without disclaimers, speak without boundaries, teach without compromise. You are the Maya Angelou of your day, the Sojourner Truth, Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Winnie Mandela and an ambassador for all the Sisters who paved a way so that you could simply be you! Always allow God to lead you! I love you so much. God loves you even more. Be strong, resilient, BOLD, confidence, fierce, loving and always striving to live like Jesus Christ.

Dr. Jasmine Nicole

P.S It was in you all along.

I am in awe of God and how he lead me to Speak Life into myself. Wow! I want to encourage you Sisters to write a letter to yourself for next year and begin to Speak & Write those things into your very being. Allow God to lead the pen/pencil as He writes a letter to His Daughter. He loves us despite our hearts good, bad, ugly...whatever the case may be. He loves You! Jesus Loves You! I am attending UCR and this Quarter has challenged me so and God showed me that I cannot take the last level tactics into this level. That I have to learn new tactics and ways of adjusting to this new journey. The last level tactics prepared the foundation for this new level but I have to continue to learn new ways of doing things. I love school but have been struggling with keeping up with readings and found myself becoming overwhelmed and self medicating with food, friends and wasting time instead of laying at the feet of Jesus and allowing Him to fill me up. I know I will successfully complete my first quarter at my University and I grateful for the reminder and encouragement. Yes it is challenging but God has graced me for this level...You will make it through Sister...

Entry, Clearance, Withers, Questions...

Mark chapter 11 verses 1-33

• ·         All that made up their identity (Sanhedrin;chief priest) was being stripped and torn down
• ·         The things they did that were wrong validated them
• ·         People bondage ( fear of people and what they are going to say)
• ·         They had a man-made authority not a God willed authority
• ·         They were powerless and they recognized that
• ·         Jesus expressed his anger toward their wrong action but loved them enough to teach them through their wrongs and from a place of authority and dominion and power
• ·         Jesus didn’t teach from His self (flesh) but from God
• ·         Jesus cannot do anything with I don’t know v.33 (reminds me of your either hot or cold, but lukewarm then he will spit you out and also anything other than a Yes is a No to God!)

This text is quite powerful. We see Jesus operating in his dominion, power and authority and the people responding to it. The chief priests are fearful and doubtful of Jesus which is symbolic for their very belief in God. Of all people, it should have been the chief priest who recognized Jesus as the messiah. Yet it shows that they were in people bondage (fear of what others will say about them). The held themselves up to this superior level and wanted the validation that came from it. I think we must be careful to keep God in the midst of everything we do, because no matter how far God elevates us, we must remember that it’s not us that did But God! And we cannot live out our God given purposes without Jesus! We can attempt and obtain temporary things and facades but deep inside their will be no sustenance. Jesus is such an awesome teacher. He had a way with the people that was amazing. He commanded their attention in a non-abusive manner. He talks with God as He was God. He understood who He was and the God he is connected to which allowed Him the favor, grace, compassion, love and authority that he taught with. The symbolism within the text is quite beautiful. The fig tree withering as a symbol of the Sanhedrin courts in Bethpage about to wither and be replaced with a heavenly kingdom is amazing. The fact that Adam and Eve ate from a fig tree as they ushered in sin and Jesus cursing the fig tree as symbolism of an End to come of sin is awesome.

The disciples were obedient to God. They trusted what he told them and when they did as He told them; it worked out in their favor. If they didn’t follow His instructions then they wouldn’t have obtained the colt and something disastrous could have happened in the midst of them obtaining the colt.  Obedience is better than sacrifice. Jesus speaks on the prophetic and speaking and operating in the prophetic. In verses 22-26 He tells the disciples to have faith and that which they speak in prayer shall be given unto them only if they believe. Sounds like Jesus is setting them up for something bigger to come. A test, trial, challenge, tribulations…perhaps. Jesus is so good that He instructs us as we go along. He corrects us firmly in love and then teaches us the why, how, what, when, where…and he is a gentle and loving God. He doesn’t impose, force his self on any of us but gives us the choice to choose Him. Jesus is so awesome. His love is everything!

I really need to study Jesus more so I can become a great teacher as He was and is today. His ability to command the attention of the audience and meet a ton of people where there at while giving one message is wonderful.

I know Jesus cleared the temple out so good! I could only imagine how angry he was but how justified he was at clearing the temple and knocking over tables and such. I wonder how this clearing of Gods temple is symbolic to clearing out of our own bodily temples that God gave us. When we ask God to clean us out and purify us, is this how He desires to do it? Maybe Jesus desires to come to our temples and do check up and see what is righteous in us and what is working against God in us and then when He spots it, he knocks over our pride, greed, lust, lying, etc., and not allows anyone to carry merchandise (pride, anger , bitterness, idols, etc.) through our temples. Then he teaches us and if we allow Him to teach us after the purifying process then we can be restored. So He cleans us out and then He pours into us his teachings straight from the thrones of heaven. God is so good.

So it is not enough to ask God to purify us and clean us out…we have to be willing to be still after that process and allow Him to teach us the ways of his heavenly Father, our Heavenly Father.

Read Mark 11.

Questions to Consider:

Who are you?

What is your identity embedded in?

What are you operating in?

 Why is it better to be obedient than to sacrifice?

What other symbolism can you draw out this text?

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father,

We thank you Lord for who you are. We love you and honor you. We thank you for being the beginning and the end. We thank you for being our God, our Savior, our Healer, our Deliverer, our Restoration, our Reconciliation, the Lover of our Soul...we thank you Lord. We come asking for you forgiveness Lord for those things we have done that were not pleasing to you. The things we have done intentional and unintentional Lord, we ask your forgiveness for. We ask Lord that you waste nothing! We pray you use all our good and our bad for your Glory Lord! We thank you for your Forgiveness. For your Grace and your Mercy! Thank you for your unfailing love. We thank you Lord! We pray that you clean out our temples. that you remove, tear down, turn over, extract ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is not like you in the NAME OF JESUS!!! We thank you Lord! And pour into us your teachings, your word and fill our temples with your anointing. We thank you Lord. We thank you Jesus! We love you Jesus! We seal this prayer in the Blood of Jesus! In Jesus Mighty Name We Pray, AMEN! AMEN!AMEN! 

#MARK11#JESUS#BOOKOFMARK#FAITH#BELIEVE#NOFEAR#NEWLEVEL#JESUSFREAK#JESUSLOVER#BIBLESTUDY

Soul Cries

It makes me sad the amount of injustices that have been done to us Black people. When we revolt and fight for what we believe in then we are the ones left looking as if we are acting like savages. When will a time come where our voices will be heard, our murdered children, black men and women will be given justice for the brutal acts committed against us. We live in a society that fears us. We cannot walk into a store without being targeted as a possible shoplifter. Just based on our appearances  we are deemed  ghetto, loose, poor, gang member, criminal, prostitute and the list goes on. Our sexuality has been ravished and murdered and given back to us as something disgusting. I am tired of feeling like we are fighting a fight that can never be won. When will our voices be heard. When will our people rise up and become CONSCIOUS of our heritage. When will JUSTICE prevail for beautiful black life. We live in a society not built to protect us or honor our heritage, so when will we stop conforming to a world that works to desensitize us to who we really are. Black Life does Matter. All life matters so lets do our best to become conscious and realize the possibilities that lies within us to create change. 

Being an ethnic studies student has really shown me how much colonialism has damaged many cultures. As we go into Thanksgiving and the reasons it is celebrated in America, really saddens me. Native people experienced tremendous amounts of cruelty and to celebrate Columbus discovering the "New World" is to celebrate GENOCIDE.  I wrote a poem in response to some of the history I have learned about Native American culture. Lets become conscious. Educate ourselves and our children. We must unify and rise up as the tribal people that we innately are. 

Poem 11/2014

Genocide. the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group.

The extinction of a people

Based on trees, cut down and formed into paper

Dyed green so it became more valuable than the life of a human being

If you cut I bleed

If you cut we bleed

So what makes your white skin better than my brown and black sisters and brothers

Who died because of your curiousity

You sailed on ships to explore and discover a world that existed before

Columbus even thought to sail the sea

First contact meant the end to civility and the start of

savages conquering what did not belong to them

Contact.  A condition in which two or more individuals or groups are placed in communication with each other.

If that’s the case

First contact lacked its tact

a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

Con

Because my European counterparts

They identified more with the con in contact

Thanks for the gifts you brought over to thee

Your diseases wrapped in pretty boxes of bubonic plague

Helped to devastate the lives indigenous people

Not immune to such terrible things

The land on which we live today

Was obtained based on the blood and tears

Of aboriginees

say yes

Life has been so amazing. I have had many obstacles, pitfalls, stumbling blocks, negative thoughts and I have just been battling it seems. But God is so amazing. I just have to spend time thanking God for all He has done for me, despite me! Despite my lack of response to His beckoning. Despite my ignoring Him or doing my will. I thank God that He loves me. I thank God that He blesses my Obediance and corrects my disobediance! I thank God that He loves me for me! It is so easy to get caught up in the struggles of life, without taking a step back and seeing the many victories that the Lord has blessed you with. I am so glad that I know Jesus and that He died for me. Wow! Jesus died for my mess. I just think sometimes how unworthy I am. But God loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for me and You! That act of love is unfathomable and I thank God that He acts upon my life daily. He wakes me up, opens doors, Closes doors, protects me, provides for, blesses me, fills me, releases me from things not of Him, stores up my wealthy place, heals me, delivers me...Yes! Thank you God! Im sitting here in my living room finishing up homework and i looked at my bank account because today is payday. As I checked my account I was sadly surprised at the lack of numbers and that some money had already been taking out and I was left with very little. I instantly thought of the devour and how he comes to steal, kill, rob and destroy. It made me sad because this area of my life has not been giving completely over to God and im affected by it, but that person I was supposed to bless is now affected and it saddens my heart. Then God put in my heart, Say Yes...so I began to listen to say Yes by Shekinah Glory and it started to minister  me. I begin to allow the song to stir my spirit and God is telling me that there are areas in my life that must be turned loose unto Him that I can no longer render my will over these areas because there dry. God wants so much more FOR me and FROM me, but th elonger I hold on the longer I will be dry in these places. God is desiring for you to say yes. Every part of your being, soul, emotions, your body...He wants it all!! We are a Work in progress. Remember that God is a God of Action. He is acting in your life, but every time you try and be the director you are saying CUT! And God is not a forceful God. He wants you to choose Him. He wants your love wholeheartedly just like He gave us when He sent His son. God wants my Yes! He loves me so much! The Amazing thing about God is that He is always there waiting. He stores up the blessings you lost out on, so when you return and allow Him to direct your life, at the end of the episode, the scene or the movie he will be there ready and willing to bless you with all those things. Everything you thought you lost will be replaced and given unto you better than you could have conceived yourself. Yes my bank account may look low but God!! Yes you may be struggling in school, but God!! Yes you are hurting, but God! Someone wise said, 

When you determine sin [you fill in blank] no longer benefits you it will cease ( Pastor LaQuetta Simmons)." 

So is it SIN, UNFORGIVENESS,PAIN, BITTERNESS, LUST, SEX, LYING, SLOTHFULNESS,ARROGANCE, PRIDE, HATE, ANGER, INSECURITY, LONLINESS, ISOLATION, FEAR, POVERTY....

What is your blank? Jesus loves us so much. Be encouarged on today! Just say Yes to God! I declare and decree that on today we will Say Yes to our Father, Our Daddy, Our God, Our Savior!!! 

If you have to get on your knees and cry out to our God, write a forgiveness letter, apologize to someone, call someone right now and tell them you love them, give to that person God told you to bless, help that person you dont like, Pray for the one you hate until your hurt turns to love for them, declare who He is to you....Say Yes to God. Then be STILL so that you can hear His sweet voice and feel His Spirit overcome you....Do what He requires of you! Let Him direct your life! Yes Jesus! If all you can say is Jesus! Then say Jesus!Jesus!Jesus! Yes let that be your prayer.

Listen and Meditate on this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czbWefFnmqE 

Yes Father we submit to you. We surrender all unto you Lord. You are good. You are mighty and strong.You are excellent. You are wonderful. You are loving. You are the alpha and omega. We thank you Lord. We love you Jesus!

God's Servant,

Jasmine Nicole

#Life without God sucks

Wow...what a week weekend it has been! God has been speaking to me left and right in the midst of the battles. God released a word in my life and it makes me marvel even more about God. He didn't have to send this person to me that i don't even know to share with me things God knew i needed to hear. But God!!!  So that happened Friday night and at the event God spoke through the discussion and really showed me how i have been wavering in my decision making concerning His will for my life in soe areas. God will call you out when needed, thats how much he loves us. He will use a willing vessel and im glad he did on friday night. So in the midst of whatever season your in God is with you. If you stop,look and listen you will see,feel and hear him.  Stay connected. Tell yourself you wont go back. Learn your patterns. When i waver in my intimate time with Jesus I begin to start tripping.  Attitudes pop up, emotions begin to dictate my actions, confusion parks itself in my mind, my will becomes more important than Gods....its a bad cycle. So im just reminded that i must stop doing me and focus on him. #Life without God sucks.

Be blessed,
Jasmine Nicole

Surrender

What does it mean to surrender to God?  Im at at point in my journey where all I truly want is God, but its hard! Sometimes it feels like my obediance to God causes me more pain  than it should. Then I start to think back on where my best thinking got me. I start to think how I chose bad relationships that could have taken me out. I start to think about how my searching for love in the wrong places could have killed me. I start to think about how my plans could have completely distorted Gods plans for my life. Then I become grateful because God has ALWAYS been there. He has always loved me despite me. I believe that this season of my life God has been showing me his agape love. A love that cannot compare to any other. Sometimes I get tired of the seasons of suffering but im glad because God is taking me higher, instilling more wisdom, building my testimony, sharpening my spiritual skills, producing a harvest to be reaped greater than I can imagine. The awesome thing is that your pain, my pain, our pain is not in vain. Its for purpose. We are pained for Gods Purpose. Our hurts, setbacks, failures, falls, shortcomings, weaknesses will always be used by Him for His Glory! So surrender! Surrender your heart, your pain, your self sabotaging thinking. Surrender and withhold nothing. We think that by holding onto it, it makes us stronger to defeat what were holding onto, but in reality its just an illusion it makes us weaker and gives God the inability to work on our behalf. Cornelius Lindsey of the Gathering Oasis Church in Atlanta said in his sermon that letting go looks like this in my recollection: he said that its like we are holding on to a cliff with our bare hands and our friends,even some of your church friends may be up there, money, all our desires are on top of this cliff and there saying to come on, climb up, you can have everything you want. Its all here, this is the life. Then below is a voice saying let go, trust me and beneath all you can see is clouds. And your in between both sides wondering what to do and you want to let go but your afraid and you dont know where you will land but there is a voice saying trust me. Then you let one hand go and your still holding on. Your afraid and you keep looking down and all you see is clouds and then finally you let go and trust that voice. And as you begin to fall you look up and the things you thought that were important appear to be just an illusion. It wasnt even real and your falling and falling and then you fall through those clouds that you saw way up as you were holding on to the cliff and suddenly....you land on solid ground. Wow! And then you see that nothing at the top of that cliff was real. It was an illusion!! Wow! That is what its like when we are about to surrender to God. That is what its like when I had to surrender everything to God. I had to give God my unforgiveness, my pain from being a broken lonely girl who felt alone. I had to surrender my father who couldnt be a father to me, my mother who couldnt love me because she didnt have the capacity to love me, my self sabotaging behaviors, my low self esteem, my low self concept, my pain, my hurt....I had to surrender to God so that these things and more could be released and detached from my life! (hallelujah) God is so loving. He loves me so much and you. Allow His love to mature in you. Allow His love to germinate the roots of your heart. Let Him in. I am not perfect. Ive been through crap caused by my on way and trials caused by satan but GOD!! I say Yes to God. To His love.  Im not always the easiest person to love. But God loves me despite and past my pain and defenses.  What helps me to enter into the presence of God in my intimate time with the Lord is to worship to Witholding Nothing a worship song. Meditate on this and allow Gods love to exude all of you. His Love is for real and like no other. It's not easy but life with God is so much better than without Him.

XoXo,



Witholding Nothing- William McDonald


I surrender all to you
Everything I give to you
withholding nothing
withholding nothing

withholding nothing
withholding nothing

withholding nothing
withholding nothing

withholding nothing
withholding nothing

Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near.

Isaiah 55:6 NIV

Past Due

It has been thirty days past due since I have written an excerpt in my blog. I have had many whirlwind of experiences. God has been so good to me. He is so faithful despite the depths of my heart. I am in a lifetime season of trusting in Him. I thank God for the lessons I have learned and are learning. The beautiful thing about the process are the little ways God says, I see you daughter. The way he reminds you how much he loves you and that He is with you. Today a man at the school I work at said to me..."You have a nice smile. Every time I see you your smiling. Your going to go far."  Wow! I thank my father in heaven because I know that was Him reminding me of my purpose and my calling and what He created me for. How sweet is His spirit. How beautiful is His name name. Jesus you are worthy! Im in Starbucks right now listening to Oceans by hillsong and just worshiping my Savior. He is so good ya'll! So this past month has been crazy amazing and challenging. I am preparing to enter into school to obtain my bachelors degree. I had been courting/dating someone very special and recently decided to put a hold on our courtship. I have been diligent in becoming a whole woman of God and being obediant. So as joyful as this season has been, it has also been challenging. God reminded as soon as I checked my facebook that,"What God has for me is for me." That was complete confirmation and he reminded me to stop stressing and worrying and to trust Him completely!! Who knows me better and what I need better than my Savior who created me. WHo knew me before I was in the womb. The creator of all things! I am so blessed because I have been hearing God so much in this season. He has been pruning, tearing down, UPROOTING, pouring in, filling up places in me and Im grateful. God also reminded me of who I am. He said daughter what did I name you? Jasmine Nicole! Jasmine means Gift from God and Nicole means victory of the people; Victiorious....will he not do what he called and purposed me to do?! Wow...im just remaining in position. Thank you Lord for your peace. I trust you. I love you. Glad to be on this life journey with my Lord and Savior!


Flowing from my heart,
Jasmine Nicole

Power of Potential: Beginnings...

I believe that everyone has the potential to be anything they want to be. I believe they have the potential to shift their nature, attitude, ideas and thinking that does not add to their life. Growing up in a dysfunctional environment has really pushed me to further study this theory more and give hope to the hopeless and power to the powerless. Nature vs. Nurture is an important aspect to my point. Nature is what a person is biologically predisposed to and Nurture are those environmental factors such as experiences that shape us.  I believe that an individual who may be genetically predisposed to being an alcoholic, drug addict, abuser, obese has the potential to shift those dispositions and change their lives for the better. I also believe that an individual who has experienced  any type of abuse as a child, any trauma or any dysfunctional experiences that shaped them to grow up having various mental issues  can shift that. 

I grew up in dysfunction myself. What I see in my own family is the passing down of legacies of dysfunction. Instead of building wealth and passing down wealth transfers, strong values and morals and a legacy of worth; I see brokenness, poverty, abuse, ignorance being passed down. My grandmother could only raise my sister and I with what she had to give.  My mother and father did not possess the capabilities to raise me with strong values because they did not posses them themselves. My mother suffered from abandonment issues, trauma,  loss identity, brokenness, no self worth  and someone as herself couldn’t give two daughters what they needed to thrive and be successful. My father was a mama’s boy,  and just as my mother he also dealt with abandonment issues, no sense of identity or self worth, alcoholism, drugs, trauma and brokenness. As much as I tried to believe that I was different and would never be like them…I would soon come to learn that the damage had already been done.

“Some things in life just aren’t fair. But it’s up to you to decide if you are going to do something about it or succumb to what has already been done. The awesome thing about being a participator in your damage is seeing how God can turn your darkest moments into His greatest victories that will in turn help countless amounts of people.”  I always call my childhood or relate to it as the Cinderella Story. As much as I love, respect and appreciate my grandmother, she sure put it on me in my youth. I do have to admit I was a bit of a firecracker. I remember when my grandmother obtained full custody of my sister and I. We began living with her and slept in the same room as her. I loved my grandmother to death! I remember always hugging her, giving her kisses before going to sleep and praying for her. My grandmother was my everything and I felt loved. But as I begin to grow up I began to notice a difference in how my sister and I were treated.  I grew up feeling not good enough, and always trying to make others happy. I would always call myself a servant and hated it! I hated that my grandmother always made me clean her room, wash the clothes, get her things from her purse, clean her closet and the list goes on. While my sister had it so easy. I would get slapped and spanked for doing things wrong that didn’t require that type of discipline. One school year my grandma bought my sister new clothes and shoes and said there wasn’t enough money for me to get new things so I just got one pair of shoes. As a child my mind told me that I wasn’t good enough and loved enough to receive what my sister received. My sister got her permit and license and I wasn’t able to when I came of age. I was so angry and as I grew up the anger, resentment, hatred began to grow with me. I literally hated my grandma. Yes, I said hate. I know that may be shocking but I felt like no one loved me. I guess my two bestfriends were anger and hate. So I tried to behave in ways that would make my grandma happy. Though it didn’t always work because the anger caused me to act out in ways that she didn’t like, so I got into even more trouble. I remember writing a note to a boy in 1^st grade saying do you want to kiss me. I got in so much trouble and my grandmother threatened to send me to an all girl’s school. But even at a young age as 6, I was looking for love and attention. I’m  surprised we had branches left on our tree from all the whoopings  I received. My family was very critical and constantly  made fun of my African features, my behind. I am happy to say that today I embrace my African culture on my backside!  Why did I have to be treated so different? I always felt like I was different and the odd one out in my family. When family would come over I would stay in the family room for a litte bit then make my way to my bedroom. I enjoyed being alone and hated it at the same time. I felt like I could relate to no one.  I remember praying as a child because I would feel so much pain and lonliness. I was suicidal and literally had a way in how I would go about killing myself. The best thing my grandmother gave me was taking me to church so that I can know Jesus. If it wasn’t for Jesus I would be dead. I would not be here writing this book to help countless others who need to Ignite their lives to Movement. The one thing I held onto as a child was that if you commit suicide you go to hell and it may not be true to some but it was the one thing that saved my life and God used it to save mine. Being introduced to Jesus was my nurture. It was a pertinent factor in my environment that helped me to shift from killing myself. Even though I didn’t have any self worth, I had a little bit of some worth that caused me to hold onto Jesus. So I prayed and asked God why all the time, did I have to be treated the way I did. At about the age of maybe 8 or 9 my father molested my sisters friend while she was spending the night at our house. This news was devastating, embarrassing, traumatizing and I would later learn would shift my thinking and my perception of men. I think the worst part about it besides this child being violated was that my family NEVER talked about it. No one ever sat my sister and us down, we never went to therapy or counseling to discuss what happened and help us to articulate our concerns and fears. When he was released from prison and moved back home I hated it. I had no respect for him, didn’t listen to him, I thought he should go to hell and I thought it was okay for people who commit a crime such as that to deserve to go to hell. So my mindset was completely in turmoil. I say that because my mindset and perceptions determined my actions, my reactions and how I handled situations and people. I am forever grateful to God because I could be lost right now. My experiences could have taken me out! But God! But God! But God stepped in and I said Yes! It took me until the age of 22 to really give my life to Christ. So the damage like I said before had been done way back when before I was born.

“It takes a lot to face your damage because it hurts.” As I sit here writing this book my heart is broken and it hurts to have to relive this pain over again. I sure thought because I am saved now that all the pain and trauma would somehow magically vanish. But I have come to realize that it is a process to being born again. Just as an embryo develops into a fetus and a fetus into a baby, I had to be developed and remolded again; but this time in Christ.  Jesus has to strip the layers of damage that has built itself up on us so He can get to the root of our pain. The beautiful thing is that when Jesus gets to the root…He can transform. He can shift. He can change. He can renew. He can make new.  Even though I am grown women today, I have little girl tendencies. As I write this back I am literally battling for my life, for that other woman, for that man, for that child’s life that I have been called to change.  My life depends on writing this book and yours does too because your reading it. I came across a quote that said “vulnerability is courageous,” and if that is the case then on this day I choose vulnerability. I release myself to be courageous. I release myself to relive my pain so that someone else’s life can be saved. This is the point where the litte girl inside of me will die so I can live as the warrior woman God created me to be. I choose to die so that I can live. This is my Rites of Passage.

Enable to live, unable to die.

What weighs you down can keep you stuck.

Keep Pressing

Im starting to come into the realization that I really cannot live this life without Christ. Sometimes I feel as though because I have been saved and baptized and I serve in the church, that I should have certain things overcome. But its not always that simple. This is my journey. This is my process and I trust the process. It might be ugly. I may stumble and fall, but I refuse to stay down. Im tired of allowing the devil to punk me. After all he has to get permission to come up against me. So he is just working in the favor of the Lord to help strengthen me. I keep hearing that I need to hate satan as much as he hates me. That I need to get angry with him because its time to move and Im tired of doing things my way and battling in the flesh. Jesus did not die so that I could keep sacrificing myself. I just want to overcome the barriers that try and keep me stagnant and not just because of me but because I have people watching me that need me to overcome and make it to the other side! I believe that we can and will overcome! That us overcoming our flesh, lust, pride, anger and whatever your issue is will accomplished and God will transform it to work for His good! Yes the process hurts, it causes us to take the scales off our eyes, to confront the past and to face ourselves. But when you come to yourself nd the process is complete. I can only imagine the freedom that will come and will be walked in when the process is complete.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-7

Spiritual Warfare

The weapons we fight with are not weapons  of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obediant to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every thought to make it obediant to Christ.
 2 Corinthians 10:4-6

It's never personal, it is always spiritual. Tell the devil "I cant hear you!" and keep it pushing toward Christ!! Have a God-tastic day!

Peace,
Jasmine Nicole

Heart Flow...

Challenging.Liberating.Molding. These three words help to paint a picture of my faith journey because what I have been through, good or bad, has helped me to understand life and my faith more clearly. I have learned that I am always evolving, growing and learning. That no matter what point I get to, there is always another greater level that I must reach and attain. Not for my benefit, but for the benefit of others. Every time I rise, someone rises with me and also vice versa. If I choose not to rise then someone falls with me. So I desire to live and lead a life of rising and in constant elevation. Significant moments: Grandmother passing away, running a 26.2 mile marathon, unexpectedly publishing a poem,  being declined acceptance to Universities, raising $2400 for LLS, family falling apart, working, volunteering, serving, giving, dealing with past pain/hurt and discovering who I am and whose I am in my Faith...this has all led me to this day. It is Thursday, May 1, 2014 and 5:35am and here I am desiring to serve in a capacity that have yet to serve in. These moments brought challenge, pain and tears. These moments freed me in my faith and helped me to take my eyes off of me and focus them on Jesus. These moments hurt and made me feel uncomfortable because there was some work that had to be done. These are the moments and there are more that have helped to see that my Faith is bigger than me. That there is a big world crying out for my experiences. There is a young woman who needs to know that yes you have been abandoned and hurt, but because I did the work and persevered, so can you. There are tears of a hurting nation that my shoulders are waiting to catch. There are voids within hearts that my love is ready to flow into. It is not easy but its worth it. That person's life is so worth it.  I have been fortunate enough to be surrounding and placed amongst Sheros. A shero is a woman who has impacted her community in tremendous ways. One of the Sheros in my life is my Pastor, LaQuetta Bush-Simmons. She is truly the essence and being of a Proverbs 31 woman. She loved me through every struggle, hurt and pain that was keeping me from fully operating in my full potential. She saw in me what I could not even see or imagine in myself. The beautiful thing about her is that she doesn't discriminate, what she does for one she will do for others. She is the giant in which shoulders I stand on. If she didn't accept her calling and trust God then what would have happened to me or the hundreds, thousands of others she has and will help. Her life is a testament in itself and a reminder that this life is not about me. That sometimes you have to lay your life on the line for others. That sometimes you have to love even when you don't feel like it. That sometimes you have to give when you don't have it, because the life that can be changed and the ones attached to those lives are priceless. Being in college has broaden my mind and thought. I have been immersed in cultural and religious courses that have allowed me to get a clear understanding of where I stand and where others stand. It is wonderful to be able to look through another's eyes and see the world in which they see it, so college has allowed me to better identify with others and also accept different faiths and see there purpose. Once you can identify with and accept an individual that is where the relationship can begin. You cannot allow your ideas and perceptions to cloud you so much that you cannot see others clearly for who they are. We must do the work. We must grow, learn and expand our thoughts in order to help the world. I'm reminded of a quote by Pastor LaQuetta Bush-Simmons," I will save the world, one person at a time." That is the key...that the one person you help will in turn help another and so on. So everyone's efforts when done with positive intention will be multiplied and manifested. It's the laws of the harvest. What you sow, is what you will reap.

Today.

Follow Peace.

Matthew 6:33

Jesus is so awesome! I hear him speaking to me. And I want more of Christ. I believe that I am right where Jesus wants me. He wants me to be hungry and thirst after Him. Some things dont make sense to me, but they dont need to. As long as my eyes stay on Jesus He will lead me along the waters of my life. In Matthew 6:33 the Word says: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. That is what I attempt to do everyday. I asked God to show me Him in everything. I want to see God in everything. I met a man named Mike today who really wowed me. He was a homeless man and I gave him some change and some resources on the Love of Jesus and such. As I was talking to him it was amazing how he said that he was fine and he began telling me he is at the spot everyday. He told me that he does believe in Jesus and that he prays often. He said that God meets his needs, he said that he cannot complain because God provides for him. This is a man who is homeless! Sits out of stores everyday with his dog. So I ask him if any churches have helped him and he tells me about his bad experiences with churches and that all they give is food and clothing. He shared that alot of churches dont help the homeless and there not welcoming. He did have a dog so he wanted the dog to be able to go in the church, but the churches (understandable) didnt allow dogs to enter. So he seemed upset with that. Then I thought...how can I help the homeless in a way that will truly make a difference. Food only last a day and then what? That homeless person then goes back to live on the streets. He shared that his two issues with being homeless is weather and police. I just dont understand the lack of help out here in a world filled with "so much help." We all have to do better. We have to work together to come up with programs that will REALLY help the homeless get off the streets. I know its alot! I know that they have issues! But we have issues! What if Jesus, our friends, our families gave up on us. What if they just gave us some food and clothing when that isnt what we need. It may temporarily make us feel better, but in the long run the issues arise. I want to do better. My heart is sad right now because as I sleep in my bed tonight, Mike is outside in the cold. My God..God please help your people. I often ask God why does the world have to be the way it is? How can I help your people? Can I even help your people? I know that Gods answer would be I created You. He created YOU and ME to solve issues and help people WITH Him. SO allow God to use you. Connect with others who are serving where you want to serve. Share your visions with someone and ask God for understanding and guidance. Write down all your visions, dreams, ideas, thoughts...and come back to them when the time comes. Seek God and you will find Him. Seek Him in everything you do.#Havetodobetter#itsnotaboutme#someonelifedependsonmydecisions#JESUSILOVEYOU#Worship#Praise#Amen Because of God, Jasmine Nicole

Trusting Jesus Without Borders

God is Amazing! God is Awesome! And He LOVES us so much!! He knows what's best for us. He sees for us. He covers us. Im just in awe of my King Jesus! I am grateful that I know Jesus! I am filled with joy and peace that I am His daughter and His bride. Jesus wants us to desire Him more than anything. He wants us to LOVE and want Him more than anything. He desperately wants us to return to our first Love...Him. I want more than anything for others to know the Jesus that I know. I want people to know they are worthy and valuable in Christ. I want people to know the Love that I know. The Love that keeps on revealing itself to me. The Love that loves me when I don't acknowledge my Love to it... He Loves You SOOOOO Much!!! His love is literally unfathomable. You cannot look upon Jesus with your own standards, because your standards cannot even stand amongst His. We have a tendency of putting Jesus in a box, but we can no longer do that. He is bigger than your issues, He is bigger than the vision He gave you!!! He is bigger than your bank account, He is bigger than your job, He is bigger than your ministry!! Jesus is so much bigger! So be encouraged that what He is preparing you for is BIGGER than YOU!! Whooo! Yes it is! So when you feel like you cannot go on, hold on, stay on, press on, push on, stand on...when you feel that, KEEP PRESSING!!! You are one step closer to where He wants you and the closer you get, the more lives you save! The more lives the person you save will save and so on. Keep Pushing!!! NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU SHALL PROSPER!!! That's right Nothing, in the name of Jesus! YOU ARE MORE SPIRIT THAN FLESH!! Thats right! That means you do not lead by the flesh, but by the Spirit! So Rise Spirit Man Rise!!! THE GOOD WORK HE HAS BEGAN IN YOU, HE SHALL FINISH IT THROUGH! I believe in you...I'm praying for you. The person who is living in a box needs you. That person selling his body for money/drugs/whatever need you. That child that is neglected needs you. That elder who is lonely needs you. The adulterer needs you. The alcoholic needs. The crack addict needs you. That liar needs. The murderer needs you. We are to be like Jesus. The racist needs you. We are made in His image and likeness. As we strive to be like Jesus we must do what He did when He was being persecuted and crucified. We must PUSH on carrying the cross in which we are all to bear. Trust him. Believe in Him. He loves you like crazy and so do I. The Bible Is . . . Your Source of Strength Daniel 10:17, 19 (NCV) 17 Master, how can I, your servant, talk with you? My strength is gone, and it is hard for me to breathe.” 19 He said, “Daniel, don’t be afraid. God loves you very much. Peace be with you. Be strong now; be courageous.” When he spoke to me, I became stronger and said, “Master, speak, since you have given me strength.” Trusting Jesus Without Borders, Jasmine Nicole

Press

A month or so ago I was sharing with my Pastor that I feel a shift coming on and I was excited! I couldnt explain it but in my spirit that is how I could explain it...that a shift in me was about to take place. Now a month or so later I am struggling, lol. I have been through some trials, test, difficult times and that initial excitement has passed away. I was asking God what is wrong with me? Why do I feel discontent. I could see my blessings but I feel so out of it. So I have been UNCOMFORTABLE...but I know that being in that state is good. Being uncomfortable means that God is brewing something up. I may not like where I am but God has got me and He wont let me go. I may have let Him go but He wont let me go. So these past few weeks God has been saying press in my presence, push on, keep going, dont stop!! From the message, praise & worship, call to worship on Sunday mornings, radio shows, talking to others, encouraging others...He has been telling me to press. I also have a journal that says "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly." So that spoke to my spirit, because Im undergoing a metamorphosis. Who I was is not who I am going to be. God is transfroming and transfiguring me to look, think, speak, walk, love, walk, give, share...like Him. I was reading my Sister in Christ's blog , Ms. Tiara and it ministered to my spirit so much. The pruning process is what I am in. God is working out the kinks! He is preparing me, my character, my strength, my power, my knowledge, my relationship with Him, He is working "ME" out! Literally! He is working "Me" out and Him in me!! Yes it hurts. Yes it's painful. Yes the truth hurts. Yes you may discover wounds you thought were healed. Yes you may discover holes you thought were whole. Yes you may cry. But the process like my sister, Tiara said, "That pain will be the very thing needed to produce the type of character you will be required to have in the places He will take you." So press on Sisters & Brothers. Stand strong. Love like Jesus. God;s has got you. XOXO, Jasmine Nicole

Purpose is Bigger than You

Family can be so difficult, frustrating and just make you want to scream sometimes. I suppose God knew exactly what He was doing upon creating the families in which we have. Why he places us there is an answer that can only come along the journey. At times I wish that my family could just sit down and deal with all the things that cause the individual pain, the bitterness, anger, resentment and division. If we could just peel back the layers, take off the mask and cut the facades im sure we could really get to the root of what keeps families dysfunctional. The sad thing is, is that dysfunction becomes "healthy" and "healthy" seems dysfunctional. It is a matrix of false realities and the one who gets out the matrix are then obligated to go back and get those who remain stuck. The obligated ones, the ones that are deemed the "glue" because they are the variable to keeping the family together...those ones that carry the load for the entire family. To those ones I know how it feels. But God, He knows what he has equipped and made us capable of. It seems crazy to think the youngest in the family, the quiet one...could be the one variable to saving a family thus in turn saving generations to come. What if Jesus gave up? What if Jesus decided these people arent really worth it? What if Jesus said the pain was too much and the burden too heavy? What if Jesus chose the easy route? What if Jesus threw in the towel? What is Jesus said that ain't my problem? What if Jesus said im too tired? What if Jesus said the pain is too great? What if? What if?! What if?!!! Then today known of us would be saved. We would all be dead, tortured by our sins, decaying in our own self caused pain. The world as we know it would not be. It would probably have perished by now because of the corruptness of man. Lucifer would be roaming the earth as if it was disneyland, but the attractions would be those ones souls being tormented turn after turn. I say all this to encourage you and me to stand tall in our walk with Jesus. The devil is always seeking an opportunity to creep in and set something back. But thank God for Jesus! The setbacks are set up's for what God is about to birth in your life. I believe that you have the power to speak life to dead situations in your families. Speak death to the division, hatred, resentment, bitterness, curses...and speak life to LOVE, renewal, regeneration, rebirth. As I have been studying the book of John, I see how Jesus valued the family and loved His family so much. When Jesus was on the cross He made sure that His mother would be taken care of. That reminded me of the importance of leaving a legacy behind and unconditional love. Due to unconditional love you desire to want to leave things behind for your family and not just physical but love, morals and values. The disciples and Jesus were a family. Jesus loved them and he cared and protected them. Jesus knew the importance of keeping the family unit together. Jesus did not leave this earth without making sure that His mother was taken care of: John 19:25-30 25 Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,[b] here is your son,” 27 and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. The Death of Jesus 28 Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” 29 A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. 30 When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. Family is important. God wouldnt have created it to be so if it wouldnt benefit Him or His people. So when the load gets heavy call in the troops (prayer warriors, elders, accountability partners, mentors, pastors) to help you to keep pressing toward the mark of the high calling. Your purpose is bigger than you. Your purpose is bigger than your vision. Keep pressing in Jesus' presence... XOXO Jasmine Nicole

Tired

Have you ever been tired? So tired that you just cannot help but to close your eyes. So tired that you cannot help but to shut your eyelids. Nothing you do will keep you awake because your body cannot do anything else but sleep...Have you? Well I'm tired...I'm sleepy and nothing I do is keeping me awake. But what Im tired of has nothing to do with sleep in the physical sense. I'm tired of seeing women sell there bodies to make ends meat. I'm tired of someone's home being a box from someones' 250 inch tv. I'm tired of the desensitization that takes place every single day. Im tired of seeing those who are blind to the hardships of others and doing nothing about it. Im tired of seeing families ask for money on the side of the freeway. Im tired of people having to go to the trash can to eat a meal. Im tired with the fact that there are people who can help but wont. I'm tired of people not knowing what the love of Jesus is and feels like. I'm tired of knowing that someone could be contemplating suicide and I may have walked right pass them. I'm tired of not being able to help. So to show you how tired I am I used the illustration in the beginning. That's how tired I am. It's time to do more. This purpose is so much bigger than me! God help me...God help us all to fulfill, complete, accept the call.

A rainbow in there cloud.

"Prepare yourself to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud."

-Maya Angelou

The World Is An Empty Canvas Waiting On New Thoughts To Think

Challenges. Trials. Setbacks. Depression. Complacency have set in. Okay! So shake it off! I'm praying, serving, reading, studying but nothing seems to be breaking the seams of these attacks that are trying to distract me. Every Sunday it seems like the message is just and especially for me. What did I do now? Where did I fall short now? My disobediance is warping how I see myself. Deformation and wholeness cannot reside in the same place. I want to be whole...the deformities seem to have a stronger hold. So then I PRESS! I Press! I press in His presence. I can hardly see His light. Its flickering to a dim gleam of light. Yes its frightening but Ive come too far to let darkness overtake my heart. I claim victory! No I dont feel victorious. But I claim victory! I will speak as if it were so til it becomes a manifestation within my soul and cannot help but to protrude out toward others you are not yet whole. So as Im on facebook yesterday. I had been giving divine confirmation that my uncomfortabilities are right-eous were God wants me. So thank you for the No's! Thank you for the evil looks! Thank you for talking behind my back! Thank you for your lack of support! Thank you for calling me fake! Thank you for not believing in me! Thank you for your doubts! Thank you for putting your insecurities on me! Thank you for trying to make me something that im not! Rejection has already visited this friend. So lets go! Lets grind! Rejection cannot have me another time. I'm right-eous where my Jesus wants me! Watch out! Get ready! Claim victory! It's mine! So as God ministered to Tyrese and he in turn ministered to the soul of many, including mine he said, "The world is an empty canvas waiting on new thoughts to think." Today I am the painter! I am the artist working on my masterpiece! Create! Design! Think! Configure! Invent!Discover! Uncover!Envision! Empower!Dream up! Fashion! Grind! Make! Produce!Originate! Author! Intersect! Coin! Initiate!Devise! Conceive! EVERYTHING YOU NEED LIES WITHIN YOU ALREADY! Those hunger pains are from your soul! It's time to awaken the beast within. Rise Up & Grind, Jasmine Nicole

It is in...

"It is in my belief and obediance that I will gain understanding. It is not in understanding that I will gain belief and obediance. It is child-like faith that Jesus desires."

Your perceived Strengths may be your downfall...

This morning I was reading the Word and I was led to read Obadiah 1. Obadiah 1 gives description of Edom's Destruction. I read through the chapter and then I read through the commentary of each verse in the NIV bible I have. Something that stood out to me was that the strengths of the Edomites became the very weaknesses that caused their fall. And I began to think, what are the strengths that I have that will cause me to fall. The commentary section listed 5 different reasons of why they fell, but that one stood out to me the most. I've learned that you should never take your goodness for granted, because the moment you do is the moment you just may fall. We must all Check our Hearts daily. That is all. Truth, Jasmine Nicole

Process →Preparation

Its been a while since I wrote! But this process I learned that Im in is the brinning process. It is not always easy to go through seasons of trials and tribulations but God who started a good work in me and in you will finish it through! Even though I have been out of school for this year, left my job and im in an uncomfortable position God is still good. Should we only praise Him for the good things and not the bad. We must! We have to praise Him, trust Him, Love Hine when those work in our favor and dont. The funny thing is that the things that we feel dont work in our favor, in spirituality they do! Everything God allows to happen works together for His Glory!!!! :-) God has our back. He always looking out for our best interest. So I have to admit I had been living defeated and that is what the devil wants. The devil wants us to focus in on what is not going right according to our perception but God was reminding me to look at the opportunities I have given you, look at the volunteering your doing, look at the relationships i am allowing you to cultivate in this time off from my busy life...if I could just get a glimpse of the Glory I am about to consume. The glory that is about to overcome me; that will be the strength i need to push through the adversity, pressures, growing pains!! God is so Awesome! I had been preparing to minister through dance to break every chain and I was battling/struggling andngoing through all my stuff. I have been sick for a while, not working, feeling unmotivated, depression trying to creep up and my coach/mentor ask me to minister before she gives the Word. And the courage inside of me accepted without hesitation even though my flesh told me differently. But I knew it was time for me to minister by myself without my other fellow dance ministers. God is so amazing. Praise dance is one of my lifelines to God. As I prepared God began to break chains as I studied and prepared.  When I went to minister it was just God and me. I declared, proclaimed and testified that my chains are broken and I danced with everything i had in me and God just moved. God taught me the importance of showing up! I was sick and still am sick but I refused to let that stop me from experience worship on Sunday morning and going to minister through dance on that afternoon. I was thinking about all the things people show up gor when there not feeling well...they show up for work, go shopping, may go out to eat, school but are quick not to show up for church. We have to show up & be present. Someone's life depends on it. God cannot use you if your not in position...

Revealing the Truth Behind the Olmecs

The ancient Olmecs were Black Africans of the Manding-Shi group. Their artwork consisted of a collection of twenty-two colossal stone heads. The Manding-Shi was the original Sahara civilization that began over 20,000 years ago. The ancient Olmecs were the first civilization of Mexico. They were also known as the aquatic people. The Olmecs used a script identical to an alphabet used by Africans of the Mende ethnic and linguistic group. This script was found on monuments at Monte Alban, Mexico and other places. When the script used by the Olmec’s was compared to Mende script, it was identical, and the words and translation was found to be the Mende language. The Olmecs were West Africans of the Mende group and they spoke the Mende language and used the script. The Olmec heads have distinct features that resemble Africans from West Africa. The heads are 1.5 to 3.5 meters in size and weigh 5 to 50 tons. They are made from basalt from mountains. The mountains are 150km away and were somehow transported without wheels or animals. They were made in honor of rulers and only a ruler would be able to have one made. They are made to look like a specific person, most likely an Olmec ruler. The headdress depicted on the Olmec heads would have been made from cloth and animal hide. The Olmec heads had flat faces, thick lips, the African hairline is clearly visible in some stone and terracotta works, the use of cornrows, afro hair style, flat "mohawk" style similar to the type used in Africa, dreadlocks, braided hair and even plain kinky hair. Not all of the heads are the same but they all have some form of a characteristic that resembles that of the Mende civilization in West Africa. Relation to other works The Olmec heads were only the beginning of statues to come. The Stonehenges were also colossal stone structures that took a great amount of people to construct. The Stonehenges were associated with death and burial and held meaning to the civilization that constructed them. The Egyptians also had sculptures that reflected a piece of their civilization. Egyptian sculptures reflect the religious beliefs of the community. Egyptians believed that at birth a person contained spiritual life that in order to live on Egyptian’s came up with mummification. Mummification did not suffice they began to make statues so that the spirit could live on. Egyptian sculptures of Pharaohs were created in very formal manners and in a style of realism. Leaders were depicted most of the time throughout history up until the classical and archaic style began to surface. Then we see sculptures pertaining more toward gods. Greek sculptures focused on sculpting out perfection with the human body. The Greeks made sure there sculptures encompassed a balance, symmetry and preciseness. During this period sculptures began to change over the years. Sculptures went from tense facial expressions, to the smile known as the archaic smile, to the Laocoon sculpture in which the expression is showing an intense and very emotional facial expression with movement. Humanism, idealism, and realism all focus on the bodies anatomy, movements, and there flexing of the muscles. They kept the realism in the facial expressions and idealized the figures body drastically. So from the Olmec heads to art history today, so much has changed and evolved. Humanities relation to God The Olmec heads are very pertinent in unlocking how this culture of people related to their God. The religious practices of the Olmecs were identical to the religious practices of West Africans. The Olmecs had a religious practice of Thunder Worship that involved an ax as a prominent feature. The Olmecs made use of Shamen’s just as West African civilizations. Some religious artifacts used by the Olmecs were found on a statue of an ancient Nigerian Oni or Priest-king. That is another truth for all cultures. Humanities relation to the Universe In relation to the Universe there is a theme to use art history as a way of depicting a greater idea and even today these universals still convey meaning. Just as the Olmecs used these colossal stone heads to honor their rulers, we see this same trend all throughout history up until today. There truly is not anything new under the sun, because all the other civilizations that came after the Africans borrowed all their ideas. All throughout society we see that for all people, art is a constant and will remain. Art has been a catalyst in expressing various ideas, concepts and the way in which cultures or civilizations have thrived all throughout history. We see in the Olmec stone heads that even the African Olmecs had some sort of hierarchy and social structure. Every civilization in order to thrive must have order and laws in place to build foundation and structure. Humanities relation to Humanity Throughout history there are traces of many cultures and civilizations. There seems to be an innate desire within to leave something great behind for the next generation to come and we see this throughout art history. Sculptures are one of the earliest ways that civilizations have used for many purposes and functions within their societies. African figural sculpture served many functions: grave figures were designed to watch over the dead, fertility images were invoked to promote or assist in childbirth; still other sculptures served in rituals of divination and healing. The use of sculptures served many purposes such as honoring someone divine or in high position, reminding of evil, victory celebrations, ritualistic purposes and the like. As for the Manding-Shi civilization, these sculptures sought to honor rulers within their group. The size of sculptures often times depicts the level of superiority an individual has within a specific civilization. It also amazes me how powerful a group of people can be when working toward the same goal. There are some colossal, monumental architecture, sculptures and various works of art that today historians and the like cannot figure out how they were constructed. “Know thyself.” This quote reveals exactly what I am choosing to do as an African-American woman in a society that depicts “Black” and “African” in a negative light. The lack of African presence in the textbook depiction of Africa amazes me and not to mention the amount of history that is left out. It saddens my heart to see all the biases that inform a lot of information placed in the humanities textbook. This affects the conventions of who I am and how I see myself. The ideas throughout America are all based on European perspectives infused with stolen traditions from the African people. During the Old Kingdom or pre-history period of Egypt, Egypt was known as Kemet. Kemet means “The Black Nation or “The Black City.” The Kemetic people were ancient black people of the Nile Valley. They studied the cosmos and recognized that great powers hold the universe together. This was a land ruled by African people; people who looked like me. There is power in history and everyone is entitled to know their history. I feel so strongly about my culture and my people, so when I gain information that contradicts African history it pushes me to learn more and to understand all angles of the debates and arguments. Evaluation The Olmec heads have been up for debate for many years and today humanist, historians and the like argue whether the Olmecs were African people. The evidence speaks for itself and “According to one of the scientists who appeared on the Art Bell Show, there was some embarrassment among Mexican archeologists because they thought that the most ancient calendar was that of the Mayas…They have examined pottery and terracotta figurines from Mexico and have concluded based on tribal scarification, cornrows and other evidence that the Olmecs with Negroid features were infact West Africans.” So this just goes to show that we cannot run from the truth. No matter how much it is veiled and conformed, it will still leak out at some point. References & Resources: http://geographytsu.freehomepage.com/AfricanPresenceinEarlyAmerica.htm MEXICAN ARCHEOLOGISTS "EMBARRASSED" BY DISCOVERY OF ANCIENT AFRO-OLMEC CALENDAR DATING BACK TO ABOUT 3113 B.C. From: Paul Barton Date: 3/3/01 The History of Sculpture from The New Book of Knowledge® http://www.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=3753866 BLACK CIVILIZATIONS OF ANCIENT AMERICA (MUU-LAN), MEXICO (XI) Gigantic stone head of Negritic African during the Olmec (Xi) Civilization By Paul Barton http://www.raceandhistory.com/historicalviews/ancientamerica.htm The Olmecs: An African Presence in Early America [Excerpt from a larger article] By Paul A. Barton http://www.essaysbyekowa.com/olmecs.htm Ancient Egyptian Sculpture https://sites.google.com/site/completearthistory/egyptian-sculp

SMH..Am I? Can I? Wiliing? The Cost....

Have I counted the cost? Am I willing to give my life so someone else can live? Am I really down with Jesus?Can I be spit on? Talked about? Crucified? Give up all my possessions? Bear  my cross daily? Am I willing to die for this cause I say I believe in? Have. I. Really.Counted.The.Cost. Smh...a rude awakening just voyage past  my nice christian life. Have I been living a lie? Is it God that im coming for on Sundays? Do I really want to be set free? Do my comfortablities make me feel more secure than Jesus? Am I really choosing death when I don't choose Christ? Am I about to die? Or am I already dead? Walking around like I havent even begun to live. Is the bread I take every Sunday a fake sacrament to a God I think I know. Is the wine a sign of his blood for my sins or am I drowning in a false sense of religion disguised as righteous living. Mmm..like life flashing before my eyes it was like I saw God saying choose them/those things or Christ! Because whatever your decision is you are going to die regardless. But the difference is if you die to me that is the very way you will find Life in Me. But if you die to this world all your deeds wont be able to secure your way out of the hell that you will be placed. And the irony of it all is that is a decision We, Us, I have to make because I choose ultimately whether I put myself in hell or I put myself in the swelling life of abundance Christ crucified, died, rose for me completely so on this side of heaven I could live free. Free to claim the Truth and spread my testimony of how I was broken,battered, ugly, and stained But Christ died for the lame. Lame was I but in Him I am unstained, unashamed for He rose so that my name could be changed. So as I sit in the second row pew staring Christ in His face while he whispers to me, Jasmine, Are you willing to choose me? Jasmine! Are you willing to be free? And take on the responsibility of living in me? What more signs do you need? I have showed you visions, gave them to others to confirm your mission, but you continue to choose other people and things who have not died for your sins or even come close to giving you life to live. Jasmine, will you choose me? Jesus said to me. We must remove our limitations on what we are willing to sacrifice for God and to get where God has destined for us to go. We must be willing to SACRIFICE more in order to reach higher. You should never stop trying to reach higher until the day you die. We must rise up! Before our time is up! Be Conscious, Enlightened, Educated, Esteemed beings and Strive for Excellence in all we do. After all our ancestors were tortured, hanged, beating, raped, disdained, given new names, stripped of our heritage, protesting, preaching, teaching, investing in one another and many other things just so we could Rise Up and do the same for the next generation to come.

Meditation

Why did He choose me? Me little old me, simple old me, quiet old me. To do bold, eloquent and beautiful things. To transform, shift and ignite lives. To share my sorrows. To share my weaknesses. To share my frailties and oh my how God mutated my pain to Glorify His name. Mutated me into a spiritual being. Creation of implantation with His breath. To spark the fire of my life. To run rampant for His claim. Take me away! Take me away! JESUS! All for your name!