A Griot From Ghana: Looking out the window of Heritage Hotel

From the vrooms of traffic

Cock a doodle doo's of roosters

Steps of the people on

The red clay like sand

Stoic cemented buildings stand

Vibrancies of color expanding across the Land

Rhythm of the language rolling off tongues

Medasi paa!! Thank you very much!

Moves just like a song

The strands of palm tree leaves brings shade to the Land

Brown skin to brown skin Melanin

Generations being carried on the backs of Queens

The hustle and bustle of life in the streets

Spintex Road is where I found my legacy

From the mmm's!! To ahhs! okaayss! Akwaaba!!!

The waters of Cape Coast kiss the sand

Where my ancestors stomped and danced the Land

The ocean became some of their graves

I can hear their voices in the midst of the waves

I wonder...what are their names?

Ase Ase to all the oceans unmarked graves...

6 November 2017

I wrote this poem while in Ghana as I reflected on some of my observations and experiences that I had. Africa moved every part of my being and experiencing Ghana with all of my senses heightened my belonging to Africa and my love for my Africa, my home. I will be forever changed because I returned to my Motherland. As my Ancestors exited through Elmina Slave dungeon's door of no return they thought we would be no more, but we returned...

Shalom,

Jazz

Practicing & Praying Through Advent.

As I was reading a blog on Lara Casey and preparing December goals, I came across a post by Lara Casey founder of Make it Happen writing about one of her December goals dedicated to Advent. I soon began to ponder on what is Advent? I thought she is a Christian and so am I, but I do not recall practicing Advent. So the researcher in me began to google Advent. My findings were that Advent is the anticipation of the Coming of Jesus Christ. Advent reflects on the "two comings" of Christ. The first coming is the birth of Jesus and the second coming is what us Christians are looking forward to and that is Jesus Christ returning again. My findings also led me to learn that four weeks of study, prayer and fasting are dedicated to Advent and through this process one is able to connect with the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit in a more in depth and intimate way. Advent brings back what the real meaning and symbolism of Christmas is and focuses the mind, heart and soul on Jesus! I then decided to begin my own journey through this four week journey of Advent. I am using the devotional The Dawning of Indestructible Joy: Daily Reading for Advent by John Piper. I began my journey today on day four of Advent so I went back and read the introduction and days one, two and three.  I have learned that Advent is not just for reflecting on the coming of Christ but the "continual advent into more and more lives" (John Piper). This is awesome! God is continually working and Jesus came on a mission to seek and save the lost. Jesus is thee greatest example of what it means to seek, serve and save lives. I am excited for what will be birthed out of this journey of practicing Advent, surrendering to God and  allowing Jesus Christ to continually Advent his love, power, grace,compassion into my Spirit. I will update you on my journey. If you want to join me it is not too late. You can find many devotionals pertaining to Advent online. I will also place the link of the devotional I am reading below. Blessings and Love to You!

Shalom,
Jazz

https://document.desiringgod.org/the-dawning-of-indestructible-joy-en.pdf?ts=1446648252

Mama Mission: Motherhood and Mission Work

Peace to you! Here I am the mother of a one year old and newborn (at the time) and about to go on a Mission trip to Ghana. It did not seem so crazy, but as the date of the trip got closer I began to get a bit nervous about leaving my girls. I am a fairly new Mama and still getting use to my new role as Wife and Mother, but I still have a calling and purpose to fulfill in this lifetime. Before I even thought about becoming a wife and mother I knew I wanted to go on mission trips sharing about the God that I serve. I have always desired to help others all around the world. I just did not realize it would be after becoming married and having children. One thing I have learned about this life and my God is that you have to be able to bend without breaking and God's plans are purposed especially and specifically for my life; even when those plans do not line up with mine. Everything is connected. So doing mission work is connected to the ministry of Motherhood. Both of these statuses of Missionary and Mother are one in the same. How so you say? Well what does it mean to be a Mother? A Mother is an individual who gives birth to new life, nurtures, protects, teaches, raises, instills wisdom, models their life for someone else to follow them. These characteristics are similar of those called to be Missionaries. Missionaries teach the Word, the exhibit love, they serve others, they nurture, protect, they model their life after Christ in hopes of others following the Christ within them. Mission work edifies Motherhood and being a Mother with the heart for Mission work will transform how you raise your children, serve others, build your home and family and beyond. Motherhood should not limit you from the calling and purpose God has on your life. Motherhood is part of your calling and will add to your purpose. If your calling and life purpose is a tree with many branches, then becoming a Mother means that your tree just grew another branch. Now someone else will benefit from your God given purpose!

 So, back to the mission trip! It is now September and my girls are 2 years and 8 months and its time to get our mandatory travel vaccines. This was the most difficult part for me and the moment I realized I was really going to Africa in a month. Why was this part so hard? Well at the time I was breastfeeding my 8 month daughter and dreading not being able to breastfeed her while in Africa. Ill never forget September 14, 2017 my husband and I go to the clinic to get our vaccines and the nurse gives me paperwork to sign as she walks out to get the vaccine. I read over the paperwork and there is a section you must sign promising you will no longer breastfeed your infant due to receiving the vaccine. I was devastated and when the nurse came back I told her the situation and there was not much I could do except leave or get the vaccine. Long story short* I got the vaccine and cried for a week because I could not breastfeed my baby. Fortunately, my daughter took pretty well to bottles after a couple days. That situation made me think about God giving Jesus as a sacrifice for my sins! My heart felt so sad because I could not breastfeed. I felt like I abandoned my baby and let her down. But God gave His one and only Son so that I could be free! Wow! So fast forward the trip is here and we have a week or two and I am feeling grateful that I got the vaccine and stopped breastfeeding, because it would have been too difficult to stop breastfeeding a week before leaving. So thankfully it all worked out and I felt secure leaving my girls with the best God-family and my In-laws.

How did the mission trip change me? Did it make an impact on me? Do I feel different as mother?
Going on this mission trip to Africa was life changing. I did not just go to serve and help, but I returned home. I saw simplicity and efficiency. I saw commUNITY and love. I felt secure, safe and accepted. I felt my people and I believe the individuals I was able to encounter felt me. I will never look at life the same again. I have no more room for excuses, fears, or doubts. My calling is not only connected to the people I see on a daily, at church, in public but it is connected to Africa and the next seven generations that will be birthed from me and my children and their children and so forth. Family is important in Ghana and having children is a beautiful thing and encouraged. Mothers carry their babies on their backs everywhere they go and they take them to work. Little and Big sisters care for those younger than them and you can really see community at work. I desire for my girls to know and live in community and understand that it takes a village to raise Kings, Queens and Warriors. I want them to receive wisdom and knowledge from their elders and cherish it. I want them to pass down the traditions of our heritage and legacy and build on it. I understand that I am not raising just daughters, but that I am raising African women of God who will be conscious of their African heritage and who will raise nations on their shoulders. I have an obligation to be ALL that God has called me to be and to raise up my husband to be the King God has called him to be and for my daughters to be who God has called them to be. I will not only Mother my own daughters but I will mother every child that God places in my path and I will speak to their potential. I will hold them accountable and teach them about who they are as Africans.

I left Ghana with an obligation. A heavy obligation that I am proud to receive and fulfill. My ancestors have already paved the way. God makes no mistakes. So Mothers go out and fulfill your calling to be a missionary. Fulfill the calling and purpose that God has given to you and know that Motherhood is connected to that calling.


Shalom

Annoying thing people say to Parents of Preemies

Since I have been the parent of a preemie life has been a bit different. My now toddler was born at 1 pound and 15 ounces  at 6 months gestation. That was quite a surprise but she pushed through and graduated from the NICU 4 months later. Despite her prematurity she continues to meet milestones and I am confident she will continue. Since my little girl is almost 2 years old I decided it was time for me to blog about some things along our journey. One of those things is annoying things people say to Parents of preemie babies! These things I am sure could also apply to parents of full term babies as well. I also have a four month old baby girl who was born full term and some of these apply to her also.

1. Your baby is soooo small!

2. You need to grow!

3. Your baby is older than mine and mine acts like the oldest.

4. You can't carry to full term? All the babies born in my family are big and full term.

5. Even full term moms are cautious with their first child.

6. Will your baby have any developmental disabilities?

7.  She couldn't wait to be born.

8. She looks good for being premature.

Being a Black Woman & the microaggreasions I deal with on a daily

Being a Black woman is one of the beautiful gifts I get to walk in everyday. As magical as it is to be a Black woman, I experience being marginalized quite frequently. Microaggressions are the casual degradation of marginalized individuals. Chester M. Pierce coined the term and describes microaggressions as "insults and dismissals he regularly witnessed non-Black Americans inflict on African Americans.  Some of the experiences I have had involving microaggressions have become more apparent now that I am a Mother. Though I have experienced them as a single woman as well. I remember going into a Panera Bread in Riverside and beginning to order my lunch. As I was ordering I asked the employee, " do you have any other sides, like an apple?" The employee then responded, " we dont have "like" apples, we have apples." I looked at him in calmed mannered disbelief, thought for a few seconds and decided to walk out. I felt very disrespected and knew that the employee probably would not talk to me like that if I was a white woman,man or looked older. I look young so people typically mistake me for younger than usual.  As a Mother I have had people ask me while I was with my newborn and toddler if I had more children. I simply asked about some library programs and she began to tell me that there was an aquarium coming. She said my toddler may be too young, then asked me if I had more kids. She did not follow that question with anything. People are constantly applying stereotypes and their experiences of various groups of people and project these microaggression onto the individual. One more incident of a micoaggression in my life is when I went walking one morning with my girls and stopped at a park. My girls and I were playing and I began talking with another mom. This mom was a white woman. She applauded me for getting out the house since having my newborn. Then she made a comment about them even being clean. I didnt really notice it at first but I later thought about what that statement really meant.

Microaggressions are everywhere in this Black Woman's life. How can we as Women of Color counteract microaggressions? I am practicing to funnel all those microaggressions and use this blog as an outlet and way to connect with other Black women who deal with the same bull**** on a daily. We don't have time to live under some white supremicist lense, that attempts to control us through oppression and  internalized suppression. Black women you are free!

The past three days I have been learning about fear. A word that has been stricken with negative connotations and positive affirmations against it. As I journeyed through teachings on fear i began to see how it infects and affects us. As I was driving to work Wednesday morning. I happened to see one a mother and her two children at the bus stop. I work at a childcare center and this family happended to be one of the families that attends my center. So as i drove by i thought, i should give them a ride to the center since its literally up the street and walking would take 20-30 minutes versus a 5-10 minute drive. Plus i work there and they see me everyday. So i went to the light made a left u-turn, went to the other light and made a left u-turn and drove to the bus stop. So of course I smile, say hi and begin to ask if they would like a ride to the kindercare. Interestingly enough, the mother politely declined and i gracefully said okay and the children waved and yelled out "goodbye Ms.Jasmine!!" I was stunned a bit by her response and began to ponder why would God have me ask and why would she say.no?! Who wouldnt want to forfeit the bus stop and take a 5 minute ride up the street to get your children to school? That same morning the children arrived at school and i didnt mention it at all to the kids as we all went on our day. That afternoon as the kids and i were playing outside, the oldest child came over to me and said, "my mom doesnt know you thats why she didnt take the ride." And i said, "okay thats okay." And she said "she only takes rides from those she knows." I continue to assure her with a smile that its okay and i understand. So i began to really ponder on every facet of this experience.
In relation to fear:
It was interesting to me that I work with her children every day but she still felt uneasy about accepting a 5 minute ride up the street. Then i begin to see thats what we do sometimes with God and what he desires to give us. You see this lady doesnt know if God had a word for her through me. She doesnt know that the ministry im part of focuses on changing generations one FAMILY at a time and that every child at my church will go to college. Or that we were having bible bootcamp and the children were given dinner,taught a lesson and played many games. It made me contemplate the blessings we forfeit because of Fear. The things God desires to give us but we politefully decline. We often times dont consider what a person had to experience to get to a point where they can freely give. Or maybe God is teaching them how to respond to Him. What blessings, connections,opportunities...have i forfeited due to fear?

Sabbath Margin: Making Room to Breathe

I have spent the last five Tuesday mornings going through a biblestudy written by Priscilla Shirer called Breathe. It has truly been a breath of fresh air. This study has alerted me to the importance of rest. It has also shown me the benefits of intentionally practicing the sabbath not just to prepare for worship, but to reflect and remember where God has brought you from. As I navigate the roads of Motherhood, breathing is often one thing I forget to do. Breathing during tantrums, diaper changes, spilled food and crying fits to name a few. Breathing during the ups and downs that came with being a wife and mother. When I forget or dismiss time for self care to breathe, relax and replenish myself then my perspective in life becomes distorted. My toddler who is just being a toddler could do something little, but since I havent took time to breathe I may become frustrated and irritable. Those feelings are unproductive and self serving. They dont benefit anyone but the self and those negative emotions really dont even benefit you. So how can we learn to breathe ourselves into self care?


First things first! We must breathe! It sounds simple because we do it daily, but taking intentional deep breaths daily will help to refocus how we are percieving our reality. God's word says, "Be still and know that I am God." It is imperative that we have moments of stillness where we can breathe, rest and replenish all of our being. Plus we have something greater intervening on our behalf.

Secondly, we must adopt a practice whether it be yoga, meditation, praying, journaling, exercising to name a few. Prayer and journaling helps to put things in perspective. Its a way to unload your mind and fill it with Gods possibilities and promises. Your mind creates matter. Everything begins in your mind so its important to manifest and meditate on positive thoughts. Your thoughts have the power to create your universe. So what are you thinking that is becoming or has become your reality? Journaling helps also for you to release negativity and it is also a great way of keeping track of how far you have come. This too shall pass. Adopting an exercise practice is necessary and will help you focus more on intentional breathing.

Thirdly, I would say to create a community of individuals who will support and love on you. This community can be other mothers, a therapist, friends, spouse or family members. Create your tribe and lean on them for support when needed. Dont believe the lies that no one cares, you will come off as weak, too afraid to share...because these lies will keep you isolated. Isolation keeps us bounded and imprisoned. Suffering in silence is not neccessary. Lean on your community. Lean on me.


And lastly I would say find a way you can serve others or help others who are experiencing what you experienced. Your experiences are not useless. Ask God to use everything you have experienced for His good.

Remember to breathe. Breathe life back into your body. Rest and Replenish. Self care is not optional but necessary. Continue to create your mamahood narrative. Love yourself. Forgive yourself and Move on to better & greater.

With Love,
Just a Mama journeying through Motherhood