Mama Mission: Motherhood and Mission Work

Peace to you! Here I am the mother of a one year old and newborn (at the time) and about to go on a Mission trip to Ghana. It did not seem so crazy, but as the date of the trip got closer I began to get a bit nervous about leaving my girls. I am a fairly new Mama and still getting use to my new role as Wife and Mother, but I still have a calling and purpose to fulfill in this lifetime. Before I even thought about becoming a wife and mother I knew I wanted to go on mission trips sharing about the God that I serve. I have always desired to help others all around the world. I just did not realize it would be after becoming married and having children. One thing I have learned about this life and my God is that you have to be able to bend without breaking and God's plans are purposed especially and specifically for my life; even when those plans do not line up with mine. Everything is connected. So doing mission work is connected to the ministry of Motherhood. Both of these statuses of Missionary and Mother are one in the same. How so you say? Well what does it mean to be a Mother? A Mother is an individual who gives birth to new life, nurtures, protects, teaches, raises, instills wisdom, models their life for someone else to follow them. These characteristics are similar of those called to be Missionaries. Missionaries teach the Word, the exhibit love, they serve others, they nurture, protect, they model their life after Christ in hopes of others following the Christ within them. Mission work edifies Motherhood and being a Mother with the heart for Mission work will transform how you raise your children, serve others, build your home and family and beyond. Motherhood should not limit you from the calling and purpose God has on your life. Motherhood is part of your calling and will add to your purpose. If your calling and life purpose is a tree with many branches, then becoming a Mother means that your tree just grew another branch. Now someone else will benefit from your God given purpose!

 So, back to the mission trip! It is now September and my girls are 2 years and 8 months and its time to get our mandatory travel vaccines. This was the most difficult part for me and the moment I realized I was really going to Africa in a month. Why was this part so hard? Well at the time I was breastfeeding my 8 month daughter and dreading not being able to breastfeed her while in Africa. Ill never forget September 14, 2017 my husband and I go to the clinic to get our vaccines and the nurse gives me paperwork to sign as she walks out to get the vaccine. I read over the paperwork and there is a section you must sign promising you will no longer breastfeed your infant due to receiving the vaccine. I was devastated and when the nurse came back I told her the situation and there was not much I could do except leave or get the vaccine. Long story short* I got the vaccine and cried for a week because I could not breastfeed my baby. Fortunately, my daughter took pretty well to bottles after a couple days. That situation made me think about God giving Jesus as a sacrifice for my sins! My heart felt so sad because I could not breastfeed. I felt like I abandoned my baby and let her down. But God gave His one and only Son so that I could be free! Wow! So fast forward the trip is here and we have a week or two and I am feeling grateful that I got the vaccine and stopped breastfeeding, because it would have been too difficult to stop breastfeeding a week before leaving. So thankfully it all worked out and I felt secure leaving my girls with the best God-family and my In-laws.

How did the mission trip change me? Did it make an impact on me? Do I feel different as mother?
Going on this mission trip to Africa was life changing. I did not just go to serve and help, but I returned home. I saw simplicity and efficiency. I saw commUNITY and love. I felt secure, safe and accepted. I felt my people and I believe the individuals I was able to encounter felt me. I will never look at life the same again. I have no more room for excuses, fears, or doubts. My calling is not only connected to the people I see on a daily, at church, in public but it is connected to Africa and the next seven generations that will be birthed from me and my children and their children and so forth. Family is important in Ghana and having children is a beautiful thing and encouraged. Mothers carry their babies on their backs everywhere they go and they take them to work. Little and Big sisters care for those younger than them and you can really see community at work. I desire for my girls to know and live in community and understand that it takes a village to raise Kings, Queens and Warriors. I want them to receive wisdom and knowledge from their elders and cherish it. I want them to pass down the traditions of our heritage and legacy and build on it. I understand that I am not raising just daughters, but that I am raising African women of God who will be conscious of their African heritage and who will raise nations on their shoulders. I have an obligation to be ALL that God has called me to be and to raise up my husband to be the King God has called him to be and for my daughters to be who God has called them to be. I will not only Mother my own daughters but I will mother every child that God places in my path and I will speak to their potential. I will hold them accountable and teach them about who they are as Africans.

I left Ghana with an obligation. A heavy obligation that I am proud to receive and fulfill. My ancestors have already paved the way. God makes no mistakes. So Mothers go out and fulfill your calling to be a missionary. Fulfill the calling and purpose that God has given to you and know that Motherhood is connected to that calling.


Shalom

Annoying thing people say to Parents of Preemies

Since I have been the parent of a preemie life has been a bit different. My now toddler was born at 1 pound and 15 ounces  at 6 months gestation. That was quite a surprise but she pushed through and graduated from the NICU 4 months later. Despite her prematurity she continues to meet milestones and I am confident she will continue. Since my little girl is almost 2 years old I decided it was time for me to blog about some things along our journey. One of those things is annoying things people say to Parents of preemie babies! These things I am sure could also apply to parents of full term babies as well. I also have a four month old baby girl who was born full term and some of these apply to her also.

1. Your baby is soooo small!

2. You need to grow!

3. Your baby is older than mine and mine acts like the oldest.

4. You can't carry to full term? All the babies born in my family are big and full term.

5. Even full term moms are cautious with their first child.

6. Will your baby have any developmental disabilities?

7.  She couldn't wait to be born.

8. She looks good for being premature.

Being a Black Woman & the microaggreasions I deal with on a daily

Being a Black woman is one of the beautiful gifts I get to walk in everyday. As magical as it is to be a Black woman, I experience being marginalized quite frequently. Microaggressions are the casual degradation of marginalized individuals. Chester M. Pierce coined the term and describes microaggressions as "insults and dismissals he regularly witnessed non-Black Americans inflict on African Americans.  Some of the experiences I have had involving microaggressions have become more apparent now that I am a Mother. Though I have experienced them as a single woman as well. I remember going into a Panera Bread in Riverside and beginning to order my lunch. As I was ordering I asked the employee, " do you have any other sides, like an apple?" The employee then responded, " we dont have "like" apples, we have apples." I looked at him in calmed mannered disbelief, thought for a few seconds and decided to walk out. I felt very disrespected and knew that the employee probably would not talk to me like that if I was a white woman,man or looked older. I look young so people typically mistake me for younger than usual.  As a Mother I have had people ask me while I was with my newborn and toddler if I had more children. I simply asked about some library programs and she began to tell me that there was an aquarium coming. She said my toddler may be too young, then asked me if I had more kids. She did not follow that question with anything. People are constantly applying stereotypes and their experiences of various groups of people and project these microaggression onto the individual. One more incident of a micoaggression in my life is when I went walking one morning with my girls and stopped at a park. My girls and I were playing and I began talking with another mom. This mom was a white woman. She applauded me for getting out the house since having my newborn. Then she made a comment about them even being clean. I didnt really notice it at first but I later thought about what that statement really meant.

Microaggressions are everywhere in this Black Woman's life. How can we as Women of Color counteract microaggressions? I am practicing to funnel all those microaggressions and use this blog as an outlet and way to connect with other Black women who deal with the same bull**** on a daily. We don't have time to live under some white supremicist lense, that attempts to control us through oppression and  internalized suppression. Black women you are free!