SMH..Am I? Can I? Wiliing? The Cost....

Have I counted the cost? Am I willing to give my life so someone else can live? Am I really down with Jesus?Can I be spit on? Talked about? Crucified? Give up all my possessions? Bear  my cross daily? Am I willing to die for this cause I say I believe in? Have. I. Really.Counted.The.Cost. Smh...a rude awakening just voyage past  my nice christian life. Have I been living a lie? Is it God that im coming for on Sundays? Do I really want to be set free? Do my comfortablities make me feel more secure than Jesus? Am I really choosing death when I don't choose Christ? Am I about to die? Or am I already dead? Walking around like I havent even begun to live. Is the bread I take every Sunday a fake sacrament to a God I think I know. Is the wine a sign of his blood for my sins or am I drowning in a false sense of religion disguised as righteous living. Mmm..like life flashing before my eyes it was like I saw God saying choose them/those things or Christ! Because whatever your decision is you are going to die regardless. But the difference is if you die to me that is the very way you will find Life in Me. But if you die to this world all your deeds wont be able to secure your way out of the hell that you will be placed. And the irony of it all is that is a decision We, Us, I have to make because I choose ultimately whether I put myself in hell or I put myself in the swelling life of abundance Christ crucified, died, rose for me completely so on this side of heaven I could live free. Free to claim the Truth and spread my testimony of how I was broken,battered, ugly, and stained But Christ died for the lame. Lame was I but in Him I am unstained, unashamed for He rose so that my name could be changed. So as I sit in the second row pew staring Christ in His face while he whispers to me, Jasmine, Are you willing to choose me? Jasmine! Are you willing to be free? And take on the responsibility of living in me? What more signs do you need? I have showed you visions, gave them to others to confirm your mission, but you continue to choose other people and things who have not died for your sins or even come close to giving you life to live. Jasmine, will you choose me? Jesus said to me. We must remove our limitations on what we are willing to sacrifice for God and to get where God has destined for us to go. We must be willing to SACRIFICE more in order to reach higher. You should never stop trying to reach higher until the day you die. We must rise up! Before our time is up! Be Conscious, Enlightened, Educated, Esteemed beings and Strive for Excellence in all we do. After all our ancestors were tortured, hanged, beating, raped, disdained, given new names, stripped of our heritage, protesting, preaching, teaching, investing in one another and many other things just so we could Rise Up and do the same for the next generation to come.