The Ugly Chronicles

When life is not picture perfect it can be quite upsetting. When things are not flowing and going as planned that can get a bit overwhelming. When your expectations and standards superceed into the realm of unattainable, it can be very upsetting when things fail to turn out how you desire them to. As I planned my year and thought of a word to guide me through my year, the word "surrender" immediately came to mine. Surrender, I thought was good! I thought, "I can surrender and give everything to God." Then the work begins to happen and experiences and emotions begin to stir and I think "surrender?" really...I don't know that I can. This year is my 29th year and as I enter into the year of 30 I so desire to become as close to whole and spirit led as possible. In the third month of my 29th year on this planet called earth, I fill the void of unfinished business and stagnation. What use to work to bring me some sort of sufficiency no longer works. I willingly ask God to remove, strip, transform me, to show me the ugliness that realms within me, to cleanse me and I have to admit this process hasn't been easy. Nor does the enemy want this transformation to take place so the enemy isn't fighting fair and using all his tactics and tricks.